We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
