he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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