well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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