Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
