the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
