just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
