No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
