Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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