I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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