I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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