Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
