so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
