bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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