Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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