She said her name was "party"
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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