hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
