is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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