At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
i think my cat just said my name.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
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