addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
