So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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