She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
