My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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