I will die if light touches me.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
