and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
