She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
