at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
