Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
