I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
