college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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