Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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