He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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