Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
