it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
