I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
