I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
