she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
