maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
