PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
