Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
