I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
