Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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