the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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