As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
im having a threesome with these popsicles
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
