Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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