It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I intend to get homeless drunk
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
