we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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