Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
