Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
