Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My breasts were aching with rage.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
