You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
