the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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