you would pick up someone in the library
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
