i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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