I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
