I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
