it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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