Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I am full of burrito and curiosity
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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