Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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