When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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