I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
