whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
