I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Randomize
