White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
