the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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