And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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