His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize