grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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