You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
