We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
