All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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