Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
