We won't sleep together?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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