would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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