my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
