We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
