I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
